Many girls grow up dreaming of being a mom. Like many I was the same way. I wanted two kids, a boy and a girl. As I grew up this never changed it remained the same.
My mom raised me in the church. Taught me spiritual and moral values and how to respect myself as a young lady. As a teenager, I made a commitment to God that I wanted to keep my virginity until marriage.
By the grace of God I was able to do just that. I prayed for a Christian husband to share my life with. God was faithful and sent me a husband.
My husband had a daughter who was 5 years old when I met him. I helped him raise her when she was here with us.
We decide that we wanted to wait a few years before trying to have a family of our own. My husband and I traveled and enjoyed one another. Little did we know that we would have difficulty conceiving.
After 2 years of trying on our own we decided to go and see a fertility specialist, Dr. Storment. He recommended after running test that we should try to do a round of fertility meds and IUI.
For those who don’t know IUI is Intrauterine Insemination, which is a fertility treatment that involves placing sperm inside a woman’s uterus to facilitate fertilization. We completed the fertility meds, shots and the IUI procedure. Unfortunately it was not successful.
My husband and I were devastated. We couldn’t understand why were having so much difficulty getting pregnant.
At this point I was confused, the one thing I really wanted was so difficult. I had maintained my virginity and respected my body but it felt as if God didn’t honor that. This situation forced me to pray and seek God like I had never done before. “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful” (Colossians 4:2 NIV).
We went through a dark season of not understanding. But we pressed through, as we walked through this test, God spoke to us and used others to encourage us.
After the first cycle we decided to take a break and pray about it a little more. Though we were heartbroken we were believing for God’s best and we knew He would bless us.
As we walked through this process of infertility it was amazing to see that we weren’t the only ones. Many couples deal with infertility but at that time it wasn’t talked about as much. At the time we were going through our season of infertility 15% of other couples were dealing with the same thing.
When this first happened, we didn’t want to talk about it because we were embarrassed. But we finally made a choice to discuss with those in our circle and it wasn’t till then we began to find out how many other people were dealing with the same thing.
After a 4 month break we decided to give it another try. We scheduled an appointment to go see Dr. Storment. He recommended a more aggressive round of fertility meds.
We went through and believed when we walk in that it would happen. Before doing the IUI my husband and I held hands and prayed for God’s blessing. We went home and believed for God’s best.
After 30 days I did a pregnancy test!
Oh my gosh, we were pregnant. My husband and I were over the moon. We scheduled an appointment to go to see Dr. Storment to confirm. Test confirmed we were pregnant! God is good!
We were pregnant and begin our new journey of pregnancy onto parenthood. I wish I could say that everything was smooth sailing after that. Unfortunately not, when I was about 7 months or so. I started displaying signs of possible pre-eclampsia due to high blood pressure.
Prior to pregnancy I didn’t have any blood pressure issues. The doctor hospitalized me for 3 days to monitor me and do steroid shots to help develop the babies lungs in the event she would come early.
We were worried, but we knew God had it all under control. I rested and in 3 days I was well enough to go home. For the remainder of my pregnancy I took it easy and avoiding stressing or any type of exertion.
I had my baby shower and my husband and I really saw the blessings of God. Our friends and family showered us with gifts and items that were beyond what we ever thought.
God was good and we felt the love our friends and family. God poured out blessings that we didn’t have enough room to receive.
I went to my doctors visit about 3 weeks prior to delivery and the doctor sent me straight to the hospital. He wanted to induce me because my blood pressure was dangerously high.
We were so scared and didn’t know what to expect. My husband and I prayed and asked God to cover me and the baby. Pre-eclampsia is a serious condition that can be tragic.
My mom arrived and she prayed over me and believed with us that all was well. We were thankful as friends, family and our Pastors at the time were covering us in prayer.
Our baby girl was safely delivered at 5lbs 5 oz. A beautiful baby girl, we were blessed. We enjoyed our time and with our new girl. We stayed in the hospital for 3 days and then we were released.
My husband took two weeks off to be with me and the baby girl. What a blessing we were given. Though it was a hard process we were thankful for the journey.
Time proceeded and we were enjoying being parents.
I was a stay at home mom for about 2 1/2 years to our baby girl. We decided to enroll her into a mother’s day out program part time.
Our girl was growing up. She started big girl school and the journey continued.
When she was about 5 we decided that we wanted to try again for a little brother or sister.
We tried naturally for about 6 months and we had no luck. My husband and I prayed and decided to visit Dr. Storment again. Because he knew our case, he knew where he needed to start us with our plan of attack.
The process began and we decided to complete an IUI again. The procedure was done and 30 days later we were disappointed because we weren’t pregnant.
My husband and I prayed and encouraged one another. We decided to take a break and re-access the situation in a few months.
We have always wanted to adopt a child but was scared to do it because of all of the horror stories you hear about private adoptions as well as state adoptions through Foster Care. Though we didn’t know when it would happen or if we wanted to go that route we decided that we would pray and see what happens.
About 4 months later we decided that we wouldn’t persue any more fertility treatments. What that meant at that time is we would be thankful for the blessings we had and just trust God for that His plan would prevail.
I had a dream of having a boy and a girl and I was standing firm on it. But I didn’t know whether I would carry a child myself again or if adoption would be the route.
About a year later I attended a Women’s conference in Dallas, TX. I remember being in one of the sessions and worship was going forth and God spoke to me and said it was time.
The message included parts about natural and spiritual adoption. I was blown away about how clear that God spoke to me and believed he had a plan.
When I returned home I shared with my husband about all that God had spoke to me while I was gone. He felt in his spirit it was time to try as well.
We began the research process of adoption both locally and internationally. In addition, we researched the Foster Care system and how it worked.
There was an interest class coming up in a few weeks through the Foster Care System, so my husband and I decided to take the class.
We arrived at church the following Sunday, there was a booth setup with information on Foster Care. Wow. How awesome is God.
My husband and I looked at the board and immediately noticed that the kids that were freed for adoption were older. We knew that we didn’t want an older child but a child that was younger than our daughter.
After completing the interest class, we decided to move forward with trying to adopt. The certification process of Fostering is about 6-9 weeks depending on how often they have classes.
During the process they asked us what ages we desired. The case workers were brutally honest and said that many of the younger ones who come into foster care eventually end up back with their parents or a family member.
We specified up front that we wanted only the long term cases. Once our certification was done it took months before we got a call. My husband and I said 2 – 4 years old is the age we desired our foster child to be and we wanted a boy.
Our caseworker called us one day and told us about this little boy who was 9 months and had been in care for 3 months and they wanted to place him in a long term home. My husband and I asked for time to discuss this and pray about it.
We called her back the next day to setup a visitation and see if the little boy would be a good fit. He arrived and our daughter was beyond excited to meet her potential foster brother.
My husband and I were terrified, because we didn’t know what to expect. The little boy, Zacheri arrived to spend the day with us. He was a cute little tiny baby boy. Quiet the personality and just observant.
It was love at first sight. He was so stinking cute and we enjoyed our day with him. He was a good baby but a little scared initially. Our day with Zacheri was awesome. The caseworker arrived back to pick him up and we told her we would call her the next day to discuss our thoughts.
My family and I prayed a lot that night and waited for God’s approval. He spoke to us and we felt we should pursue having Zacheri spend a few nights with us.
He arrived the Friday mid-day and spent the weekend with us. Having a newborn again was different. Let’s just say I drank a lot of coffee that weekend. Zacheri fit right into our family, but I have to admit I was scared.
Our lives was about to change not only with having another child, but also that we would have to be an open book to the state. Not that we had anything to hide, but visitation with mom, the caseworker, whatever appts, court cases, etc.
I have to be honest we didn’t know what we were in for. It was an emotional roller coaster. Filled with ups, downs, scary moments, moments when we didn’t know if he would adjust. Moments when we thought his family members would reappear and want to attain custody of the child.
Times were we didn’t know whether he would be reunited with his mom. Though that is the ultimate goal with foster, reunification we had become attached and didn’t want to see him leave.
We prayed alot and loved on him ever chance we got.
After almost a two year process, the Lord granted us what we prayed for, our son, Jayden Zach Dumas. His adoption was finally here!
Through the process, I learned that being a mom doesn’t always come the natural way. But we must open ourselves to find out what God’s plan is for our lives.
If you would have asked me when I was smaller whether adoption would be an option, I would have told you no. I am having my own children.
But as the scripture says in Jeremiah 29:11-13, For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”.
God had a different plan and we had to be open ourselves to God’s perfect plan.
Trust God’s plan and process for your lives. The key is to ask God to direct your path. “He has an appointed time that things will come to past. The vision will still happen at the appointed time. It hurries toward its goal. It won’t be a lie. If it’s delayed, wait for it. It will certainly happen. It won’t be late” (Habbukak 2:3).
Our lives aren’t perfect, we have tough times like everyone else. Though you are a Christian it doesn’t mean life will be smooth sailing, in some instances it can be tougher. But when test and trials come we have to remember to run to our SOURCE, JESUS!
I know that my blog is normally about food, but I wanted to shed a little light into the life of Da’ Stylish Foodie. As well as bring recognition to Infertility Awareness Week.
So if you know someone who is struggling with infertility do something nice for them. Share this blog with them and pray with them. This is a tough process and hard for couples. Sometimes all they need is a friend to listen, encourage them and share words of encouragement with and for them.
Infertility Awareness Week is April 22-28.
I shared our journey, but remember that my journey may not be your journey. But seek God for His divine plan for your life!